I never thought I would be writing something like this, but here we are. I am 26, from Leeds, and if I am being honest, dating has never really been my thing. Not because I did not want it, but because I genuinely did not know how to speak to women, especially online. I have had Tinder and Bumble on my phone for years, but most of the time they just sat there. I would get the odd match, open the chat, type something, delete it, type again, then just give up.
It sounds a bit pathetic writing it out, but that is how it was. Conversations never really went anywhere. Either I would not reply because I did not know what to say, or I would send something basic and get no response back. After a while, you just assume it is you.
About two weeks ago, I came across Flirtist. I was not expecting much. I thought it would be one of those things that sounds good but does not really work in real life. Still, I gave it a go because I had nothing to lose at that point.
First Impressions and Getting Started
The first thing I noticed was how simple it was to use. I am not the most tech savvy person, so anything complicated usually puts me off straight away. With Flirtist, it felt straightforward from the start. I did not feel like I needed to learn anything new or figure out loads of features.
I started using it alongside my Tinder and Bumble chats pretty much straight away. The first time I used it properly was when I matched with someone on Bumble and she sent the first message. Normally that would stress me out more than anything, because now I had to reply with something decent. Instead of sitting there overthinking it, I used Flirtist to help shape a response.
What surprised me was how natural it felt. It did not come across as robotic or forced. It actually sounded like something I would say if I had a bit more confidence. That was the first moment where I thought this might actually help.
Using Flirtist in Real Conversations
After that first chat, I started using it more regularly. Not for every single message, but whenever I felt stuck or unsure what to say next. That is where it has made the biggest difference for me.
Before, I would panic when a conversation started to slow down. Now I feel like I have something to fall back on. It helps me keep things going without making it awkward or boring. I have also noticed that I am not overthinking as much. Instead of staring at my phone for ten minutes, I can reply and move on.
One of the biggest changes has been how long conversations last. Before Flirtist, most chats would die after a few messages. Now I have had conversations that go on for days. That has never really happened to me before.
I think what I like most is that it does not try to turn you into someone you are not. It just helps you say things better. I still feel like it is me talking, just a more confident version of me.
I have been using it for about two weeks now, and I have definitely seen an increase in response rates from girls. That alone has made a massive difference to how I feel about dating apps. It sounds simple, but when people actually reply and want to keep talking, it changes everything.
Confidence and Overall Experience
The biggest thing Flirtist has given me is confidence. Not in a fake way, but in a way where I actually feel more comfortable opening messages and replying. Before, I would avoid it because I knew it would stress me out. Now I actually check my apps to see if anyone has replied.
I am not suddenly some expert at dating, and I am still figuring things out, but it feels like I have taken a step forward. I am having proper conversations with women, which is something I struggled with for years.
It has also made Bumble a lot easier for me. Since women message first on there, I always felt pressure to respond properly. Now I do not dread it. I actually feel like I can hold a conversation instead of ruining it straight away.
I have had a few chats recently that have felt genuinely promising. Nothing crazy yet, but definitely more than I had before. It feels like I am finally getting somewhere instead of being stuck in the same cycle.
Overall, I am genuinely glad I found Flirtist. I did not expect much from it, but it has actually helped me more than anything else I have tried. It is not magic, but it gives you that extra bit of help that can make a real difference.
If you are someone like me who struggles with what to say or just feels a bit lost on dating apps, I would honestly recommend giving it a go. Two weeks in and I can already see the difference, which is more than I can say for anything else I have used before.
